Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
