i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
