dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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