Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
