Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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