Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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