she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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