am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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