everyone is single if you try hard enough
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
