i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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