So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
