he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
