I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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