She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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