Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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