found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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