i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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