I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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