i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
