Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
