If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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