Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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