in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize