Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
