Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
