How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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