Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.

(339): View more from Massachusetts

No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.

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(770): View more from Georgia

finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.

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(206): View more from Washington

I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left

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(573): View more from Missouri

BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST

(573): View more from Missouri

TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL

(573): View more from Missouri

AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT

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