Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
