How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
