Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
