but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
