I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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