If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
