I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
