Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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