I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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