I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm bleeding and have questions
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
