i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize