i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
someone owes me an orgasm
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
