I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
