she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
