she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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