My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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