His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
