What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize