This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
