if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
