I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
