My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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