everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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