i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
