Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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