been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
