Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
