I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize