Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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