i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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