But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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