By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
