Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dignity is for republicans.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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