this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
