Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
