just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
