FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
your like the ambassador to my penis.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
