Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
